I was watching a video on youtube about a two-year-old deaf girl communicating with her deaf mum. What touched me most was seeing how blessed these two are to have each other. The child has a mother who not just understands what she is going through, but is going through the same thing. Likewise for the mother to raise a child who understands her circumstances. A child who can hear would not be able to understand why everyone, but mummy, can talk.

  This video then reminded me of Hebrew 4:15. 

For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. (KJV, Cambridge Ed)

I’m the sort of person, that when I am going through problems, I find it hard to share with others. I don’t want solutions or prayers. I will ask if I want them. I just want to be heard, and to know that I am not the only one facing this mountain. I know it is a bad habit to pick and choose my listeners, but when I’m going through tough times. I don’t want to have to keep explaining, justifying or have someone try and see the world through my eyes. I am already emotionally exhausted, and it is exhausting to try. I apologize to the friends who I’ve tried to shut out at various points of my life until I was better. But sometimes, it is easier for me to walk alone knowing that people care, than walk with people who cannot understand. The latter walk is far more lonely. 

There is this inner cry, hoping that somewhere in the world, there is someone who can say, “me too. I feel exactly the same way”. And you don’t have to explain yourself or that situation. You don’t have to say a word. You can just sit together and cry. It won’t feel weird. You won’t feel patronized. You feel liberated instead. 

That’s why I am glad for Hebrews 4:15. Even if I cannot find another person who is going or had gone through the same thing, I know that I can count on Jesus who understands. 

More than just understanding, He knows exactly how I feel. That I can just sit in silence with Him. His hand on my shoulder. “I know, Nat. Me too.”

  1. natwhomjesusloves posted this