This is me graduating last year, celebrating God’s goodness and faithfulness in my life. This is my second graduation, but the first where I am immensely humbled.
My first graduation was a celebration of all that I have achieved, but also a mourning of what my achievements failed to achieve. I fought hard. I worked hard. I got my diploma with merit with God’s grace, yet the number of hours, sweat and tears I have clocked refused to let me acknowledge that. I was the one that did it.
It was crazy to see the number of bridges I have burned. The amount of tears I wasted, crying out of sheer exhaustion and hopelessness. I pressed on.
However at that ceremony, when I sat with the other merit holders, I was reminded that I was a failure. That despite all my hard work and effort, I cannot open the doors that my lesser-achieving peers could. I didn’t know why.
Long story short, throughout this whole journey, God had always been there, I just needed to acknowledge His presence. In an odd twist of fate, I started to consider studying in Australia. And God led me to Brisbane.
It was what I needed, but I did not know that then. I grew a lot in that 2 years. I’ve learnt so much. It was just tremendously blessed. I wished I could say that I’d enjoyed every bit of my uni life, but I didn’t.
I had never adjusted back to being a student after years of working. I was so bad with time management. Uni was just one struggle to meet deadlines after another. I had zero knowledge of anything Australian, yet assignments were on Australian-based topics. I kept falling sick two weeks before assignments were due and would still be sick past exams. One month where my brain had limited function. I destroyed my laptop just before major assignments were due. I had nothing going for me, but I had God.
Surprisingly, I didn’t cry at all. The old Nat would have. There was this strength and peace inside that sustained me through it all. God was just sooo good. I got grades that I did not deserve in my final semester. I was so afraid I would have to retake some subjects, I prayed to just pass. But my loving God didn’t want me to just pass, He wanted me to succeed.
As I sat in my seat and watched the ceremony, it was just so amazing. I felt so blessed. The valedictorian reminded us that we are all blessed to have received and completed our education. I couldn’t have earned all these. It is truly by grace.
And now as I move on to a new chapter, I am reminded that the God who had blessed me greatly in Brisbane will continue to blessed me in Singapore. Isn’t that what unceasing means?
